Sonic Nurse

There really is no one specific time this happened.  But i made it a point to make sure it was the same every time.
School would always be the worst.  From waking up cold and in need of more heroin, to walking to the bustop in the late January frozen muck that seems to get blacker with every passing winter...it never started well. 
By 3rd period i'd have to find a vacant bathroom to smoke more tar in, or find my drug buddy and see if he had any crack before 4th period.  But the thing that bothered me most in school, were the people.
I hated everybody.  and everybody hated me.  I was far from being friends with the cool kids, and was a towering 5'6" - 85 lbs.   not exactly a lot to work with, so i learned how to dissappear.
My headphones were in every second they could be, and i'd do my very best to pack whatever drugs i could up my nose, down my throat, and into my lungs - to vanish completely off even my OWN radar.
The end of the day was always bittersweet for me.  I'd be ELATED to finally fucking leave the building, and all of those horrible people behind...but i'd always JUST be coming down off my high...leaving me pissed off, irritated, massively depressed, and surrounded by throbs and throbs of people who made it their daily goal to make my life a living hell.
When i finally did turn the corner onto the first sidestreet past the gates...sweet salvation.
My pack of camel lights, and my music as loud as it could go.  Turning that corner was almost as good as getting high again...i could chain smoke, and listen to Sonic Youth's "Sonic Nurse" album all the way to wherever i wanted to go.  Freedom.

Those walks home were some of my happiest moments throughout High School.  I would turn down a ride just to walk in the rain, by myself, listening to that record and smoking cigarettes.  For those 50 or so minutes...i had someone to relate to - something i could FEEL besides miserable.  something that mattered.